How I Scare The Other Mommies

I had an interesting (although not uncommon) encounter the other day while taking my kid to the park.

Now, there are 3 types of playground parents:

1) The weary.  These Moms and Dads are just looking for a place that their wound-up spawn can run out a little excess energy.

2) The desperate to spend quality time.  These are the ones that dash from slide to swing, never more than 2 feet from their kid.  Being a working Mom, I typically fall into this category.

3) The ridiculously bored.  These parents are more concerned with finding another adult to speak to than keeping an eye on their child(ren).

Type 3 is usually not a problem, provided there are more than one of them around to distract each other.  If not, they will hunt down an unwilling party and trap them in ridiculous banter.  Luckily, I have a pretty quick out.

The conversations start with “How old?”.  Then, there are a few back and forths about child development followed up with the obvious “Do you work?”.  Ahhhhhh, yes.

I turn, look them straight in the eyes and say “I’m a butcher.”  This is normally met with an involuntary lemon puckering expression, a few stuttered follow-up questions and then a polite excuse as to why they need to run off.

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